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Co-Creation, not Procreation

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Co-Creation, not Procreation

Postby Jacobus on Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:22 pm

So on another forum. A friend is turning my characters into a story (this is his Deviant http://simongreve.deviantart.com/ ). So I though I would share.
This is the first 'venture he made up with my characters. It needs a descent title. Suggestions please?
Welcome to the forums Greven.
Thanks to Hera for the corrections. :)

Jacob gasped for breath as the sun peeked over the eastern horizion. He guesses he was on his own now, but then he heard his companion's voice in his ear, "The sun is coming up. I'm pulling Lucy and Gregory out."

Jacob nodded as he looked into the rising sun. Lucy was a no-brainer and Gregory would attract too much attention. He was alone, but that was how hw had lived for so many years and that was how he worked best. He felt the familiar weight of his crossbow as he jumped down from his rooftop perch. Rolling as he landed, to lessen the strain on his legs, he then paused to check the window on the bolt clip. Only foru left, three standard bolts and one blue one as the last one loaded. A plan was starting to form in his head . Now all he needed to do was locate the "subject" again.

"The subject is heading east, towards the bridge." Vincent, his companion, was back to speaking in his ear. Jacob growled, hating when he called them subjects. They weren't subjects, they were monsters. Nothing more, nothing less. Jacob turned in the proper direction, realizing that he would have to run if he was going to catch up. Picking up his pace, he sprinted to the bridge.

Jacob knew what he was looking for. At 6' tall, covered in thick black fur, with small red eyes, and two log-like arms this beast was a prime example of a full grown, male blackheart troll, the most vicious predator in the northern hemisphere. It's extendable claws could rip through a man as if he were made of paper. Jacob would know. He had felt it happen. He caught up with his target at the far side of the bridge, his guns blazing as four bullets ripped into the hairy back of the troll. They barely got through the fur, but they got the job done. Jacob now had it's full attention.

It's beady eyes bored into him as it let out a deafening roar, sending birds fleeing the nearby woods in panic. The noise was terrifying, but Jacob was possibly the only living being who could hear it without flinching. He'd seen worse, felt worse... died worse. A smarter creature might have realized this and been wary, but the troll had never met anything that could threaten it, much less harm it and this puny human was barely large enough to make a decent snack. Jacob fired once more and the bullet penetrated it's chest, though it caused only minimal damage. That was alright, since injuring it wasn't really the point of shooting.

The troll got angry, though, because even if the bullets weren't a threat, they stung like hell! Most predators would try to figure out how to end such annoyances, perhaps be more cautious, but a troll didn't know the meaning of the word. The ground shook as the monster's heavy footsteps propelled it toward Jacob. Moving quickly, Jacob slung his crossbow off his back and fired. The beast jumped to the left to avoid the bolt only to have the second shot meet him at his landing point. That one never made it through the thick pelt and the troll let out a snort as the third shot found a home in it's chest. St this point the troll didn't even care as Jacob fired the final, blue tipped bolt. It just stood there waiting for the shot. It wasn't bright enough to notice that this missile didn't have a wooden shaft like the previous ones or that it had a bright blue tip with a timed, electrical device mounted to it. For a moment, the troll thought it was winning, then it knew nothing. 200,000 volts passed through it's body, completely frying the tiny brain in it's skull.

Jacob stepped forward as the monster fell flat on it's ugly face and kicked it softly, but it remained immobile, definitely dead. "Did you immobilized the subject?" asked Vincent, once more in his ear.

Jacob pulled the bolts out of the corpse as he answered, "He's dead alright, but I think my zapper broke." He looked at the broken tip of the blue lightening bolt he had just removed.

"Why do you always break the things I make for you? You're almost as bad as Lucy! Anyway, we should get going before the local police arrive. Gather what you need and meet us at the rendezvous point."


This next bit is the start of a plot I put to him to use my characters for.

Leeches Pt. 1

"Just put it on, will you?"

"No! I keep telling ya I won't."

"And I keep telling you that we won't get anything done if you go out there like that, so just put the damned coat on and let's get out of here, okay? Jacob was holding a long trench coat out to Gregory, trying once more to get him to put it on.

"Why do I need it? I don't see you putting one on," replied Gregory stubbornly.

"Well, I'm not the one covered in tattoos and wearing a kilt, now am I? There is no way they'll let us into the crime scene with you looking like that." Jacob was getting tired of arguing with him. If he didn't put on the coat soon he might end up with a bullet in his skull.

"I have the right to wear whatever I please!"

"Yes, you have the right, but if you don't put this on we can't go out tonight and if we don't then more people will die. Do you want that on your conscience, too?" Jacob knew it hit home even though Gregory looked like a monster with his huge body covered in tribal tattoos. In spite of his appearance, he had a guilty conscience that few could match.

Gregory finally took the coat from Jacob and mumbled something about his rights as he put it on. "So ya happy now? Let's get outta here a'fore I tear this thing apart."

Jacob supressed a smile as he called into the tv room, "Hey Lucy! We're ready to go. Can you start the car?"

"Sure," she called back. "Which car do you want?"

Jacob thought about it for a minute before answering, "The Hummer if you don't mind. The brute strength might come in handy."

"I'm on it!" she hollered, already halfway out the door.

The Hummer pulled up at a closed construction site, it's windows blacked out to prevent sunlight from entering the vehicle, not that there was much of it at the moment to worry about. Jacob looked at the darkening sky as he stepped out of the car. It was only 7pm, but thick clouds were already obscuring any light from the evening sky. Gregory exited next and cast a single glance upwards before stating the obvious, "It's going to rain tonight."

"Come on," said Jacob, pulling his collar around his neck. "Let's finish this before the rain washes away all the evidence."

The construction site was not your usual crime scene. There were no police wandering around in confusion, no security tape, no blood or bullet holes. Nothing. Nothing but four dry corpses in the mud, that is. Jacob checked the bodies while Gregory went to examine the rest of the site. Completely dry, not a drop of blood left in the bodies. Jacob looked for bite wounds on the necks of the victems, but there weren't any. That didn't prove anything, though, as vampires were known to sometimes lick the punctures, making them heal even after the victem as been consumed. "Gregory?" called Jacob, who received a "Wha?" from somewhere behind a small trailer. "We have no puncture wounds on the bodies."

"You think they were licked?"

"Looks like it. You find anyone?"

"Yeah, I did, but it won't talk to me none. Ya might wanna get back here."

"M'kay!" Jacob took a last look at the bodies and then went to see who Gregory had found. He found him behind behind a small camper parked at the edge of the site, looking into the slight shadow it cast. Jacob had to pause a few moments to locate what he was looking at, but he finally spotted a tall, thin figure that was almost completely invisible in the gloom.

"So... It is you," the figure said in surprise as it spotted Jacob approach. "The Enemy of Darkness, Son of Rasputin, the Killer of Demons among other names. What brings you to a little rundown place like this?"

"The word spreads quickly on the web and there are a few sites for the occult that can spot a vampire even faster than I. Four corpses drained of blood stink of vampires and I hate their stench, but enough anout me. What brings a noble like you to such a place, Posteratus?"

"The same as you, I believe, but I think we are both mistaken. The vampires of this region have nothing to do with this."

"Forgive me for distrusting you, but I think I will decide that for myself. You vampires are rarely in a hurry to doom your brethren," Jacob bit out.

"Nothing has changed, I see. You never were keen to take my advice, but trust me when I say that your speculations are leading you to the wrong conclusion. The Brotherhood no longer wishes for war. For over a hundred years we have kept silent, so why do you hate and hunt us so fiercely even now?"

"My hate is a curse you have brought upon yourself. Though your immortal hearts have forgotten the deeds of the past, my soul has not. Don't get in my way, Posteratus, for I wiil not fail to kill you this time, if you do." Jacob spun on his heel and strode away with furious strides. Why had he been there? Why had they sent him? Damn the Brotherhood! Damn them all! Jacob's thoughts were whirling as quickly as his feet.

"Oiy! Oiy Jacob! Wait up mate!" Gregory caught up with him, easily matching his angry pace. "What's wrong, mate? I haven't seen you this pissed since that werewolf took your left arm in Paris."

"Nothing. Me and that piece of filth just have some history and I can't stand him."

"So... Ya think he's lying?"

"Maybe, but there is definitely something weird going on. The Brotherhoos usually sends out at least ten members to deal with a scene like this, but there was no one other than Posteratus here. It's weird."

"Maybe they're hiding?" suggested regory as they reached the Hummer.

"Not bloody likely! Of all the members of the Brotherhood, Posteratus is the only one who won't attack me on sight. No, he was alone. The real question is why." The two men crawled into the back of the Hummer. "Take us to the Midnight Buffet, Lucy. I think it's time we pay those suckers a visit."

The Midnight Buffet was an exclusive nightclub for the rich and stylish elite, at least officially, but there was no doubt that is was a hiding place for vampires. The building itself had been buit so that seen from above, it took the shape of an inverted cross. They were parading their might all over town by settling down in the Midnight Buffet thirst struck them, in clear breach of the contract.

It was well after midnight when Jacob, Lucy, and Gregory arrived at the club. Wanting to minimize the fuss, they decided to make their way in through the back door. It was locked, but no door stayed locked for long when Gregory wanted to use it. In fact, they rarely stayed on their hinges. The back room was rather boring, a few weapons and what looked like last week's leftovers was all that was there. The main dancehall was a much more lively place. Everywhere, vampires were dancing, feasting, or taking part in other activities that no one needed to look at long for answers. The music was mind-blowing, louder than a banshee's scream and it filled the entire room with a force that would destroy any human eardrums instantly. It was so loud that no one had even noticed that their iron-plated rear door had been smashed halfway through the back room or that three outsiders were actually in the middle of their special hideout. Jacob rolled his eyes and gave a few hand signals to Lucy, who quickly moved to the loudspeakers while he headed for the stage. A protesting screech followed Lucy pulling the plugs, effectively killing the deafening sounds and leaving the vampires wondering what had happened for a moment before Jacob spoke into a microphone from the stage.

"Good evening, Followers of Darkness. I hate to interrupt the party, but I have an announcement to make. You are all suspects in the senseless killing of four innocent humans two nights ago. By doing so, you have broken the contract. How do you plead?"

The vampires were shocked, to say the least. A mere humanhad wandered into their club, killed their party, and was now accusing them of breaking the contract? "Let's kill him!" some sleezy-looking vampire shouted from the rear of the crowd and was backed up by loud cheers from the rest of the audience.

"While I do appreciate your enthusiasm, I might havce something you would be interested in hearing first." Jacob paused and looked over teh slightly amused crowd. He thought he knew the source of their mirth, but it would only help him prove his point so he continued. "Two hundred years ago..." Jacob didn't have time to say more before a blade pierced his left lung from behind. He felt blood begin to fill his mouth as he turned to look behind him. A female vampire had apparently snuck behind him and stabbed him with what looked like a large kitchen knife, so unsophisticated. "Well, hello Miss," Jacob said, pulling out a wooden stake and driving it through her heart in that instant. The crowd stood in shock as their sister turned to dust. Jacob used this moment to spit out the blood, grab the knife, and pull it out the same way it had gone in. He then opened his shirt to show the now terrified vampires how the wound had already healed, leaving only a small white scar that was barely visible among the thousands of others thatn marked his chest.

"Now, as I was saying," Jacob continued to a suddenly more interested audience. "Two hundred years ago the Brotherhood wanted to create a soldier with no morals or self awareness, a being made to only kill humans. One of their early tries was created from an actual human being. Using dark magic and blood transfers, they successfully produced their monster. This beast was stronger, faster, and more agile than any human could ever hope to be. To test this new creature, they released it into a small town. The results were beyond anything they could have expedted or imagined. Within 24 hours, the beast had killed everyone, all one thousand inhabitants gone. No child was spared, no man escaped, and no woman was found in hiding. All had perished at the beast's hands and as they fell,their spirits attatched themselves to the monster that had killed them, swearing revenge. As all one thousand souls clung to the beast, it came to it's senses for it was but a man. A man twisted by vampires into a tool, but the cries of the innocent lives he had stolen had broken the curse placed upon him. Falling to his knees in a pool of blood, this young man of six and twenty swore that he would avenge the dead. He swore that he would hunt the creatures of the night a lifetime for each life he had taken. The spirits were pleased so they stayed with the man and granted him his wish. No longer could he be harmed by any man, his wounds would be healed instantly, and should his body be beyond healing... he would be reborn. I have lived 200 years, three times I have been reborn, and three lives have I repaid. The first time, I was killed by Posteratus and it took him 20 years to heal the wounds I gave him in that battle. What makes you think that you filth can even lay a finger on me and survive?"

The crowd was silent as the grave. They had all heard rumors of the hunter, a man blessed with powers beyond belief. A man who killed the creatures of the night.

"But it wasn't us!" shouted a man in the second row. "We only take what we need and we always get rid of the bodies. We would never break the contract!"

"Yeah! He's right. It wasn't us!" shouted another vampire somewhere close and there was a ripple of agreement that spread outward from the others in the room.

"So you are telling me that the local vampire gang who, time and again, has violateds the contract doesn't have anything to do with the four dry bodies in your backyard?" Jacob's eyes were flashing dangerously. If they were fucking with him then they would die oh so painfully.

"The Castle!" someone shouted. "The Castle! It reeks of blood, has for weeks, though no one was supposed to have lived there for years." Jacob looked at Lucy and she nodded. When it came to vampires, there was no better lie detector than her.

"We will look into this Castle of yours, but if you're pulling my leg then I suggest you be gone by sunrise. If you don't want to see it firsthand, that is." Lucy turned the music back on as the three of them sauntered out of the Midnight Buffet, leaving a group of bloodsucking fiends collapsing on the floor in relief.

"They better not be wasting my time," Jacob said as Lucy started the engine of the Hummer and pulled out onto the main road.


The Next Chapter. :)

Leeches Pt 2


The rain was falling hard as Lucy stopped the car on the side of the road. "We're here," she said and opening the door, she stepped right into a big puddle that had already settled where they were parked. "Geezus!" she exclaimed as her black jeans got covered in mud.

"What's wrong, Lucy? You said you wanted to get your hands dirty, but that should be close enough, right?"

"Very funny Jacob, but I already told you that I'm coming with you this time."

"Why is it so important to you this time, Luce?" Gregory asked as he joined them in the rain. "You don't usually join us for the rougher parts of the job, so why now? Female intuition or somethin' like that?"

"Intuition? Yes, but not the female one. i just have a feeling that something bad is going on up there and that it might be connected to me somehow."

"Last time you said that, we found your brother in the company of 20 Templars and I swear to God, that is the last time I fight those weirdos," Jacob stated. "Where is your brother, anyway?"

"He had to go take care of something back home. He'll be back in a day or so. Nothing to worry about."

"Now, that's great and all, but shouldn't we get going?" Gregory interrupted. "The castle's way up there and we're all the way down here."

"Tribal guy is right," Lucy said, receiving an irritated look from Gregory. He hated that nickname. "We better get moving before we get trapped by this storm."

The looked up at the castle on the hill just as the lightening forked across the sky behind it. For a brief moment, the castle stood silouetted against the nighttime blackness.

"You have got to be kidding me," Lucy complained.

"Life does that sometimes, Lucy. It's just how things work in the real world," Jacob said, holstering his gun.

"Let's just move out, okay?" Lucy sighed.



"Positions?" Jacob whispered into his mic.

"I found an unlocked window so I'm in a small room on the south side," Gregory replied over the small radio each of them carried.

"In the west tower, moving down. I hear chanting or something. What's your position?" canme in from Lucy.

"Picked a lock on a side door. I hear the chanting and I think it's coming from the ballroom. Keep the frequency clear folks. We don't want to be seen before we see them."

Jacob slowly made his way through the castle, the chanting growing stronger as he moved through the darkness of each adjoining room. Soon, he saw light gleaming through a keyhole in a nearby thick, oak door and he realized that he had reached his destination. He looked through and reported what he saw over his microphone.

"I have a visual on the ballroom. We have eight or so vampires tied up, possibly unconscious. They aren't trying to free themselves from the ropes, at any rate. They seem to be sitting in a pentagram of sorts, though it doesn't look like any normal pentagram I've ever seen before. It looks like it's connected to a Solomonic magic circle, but I can't see if anyone is inside it from my current vantage point. I also think there's a triangle of envocation to the east of the circle. You're the expert, Lucy. Any ideas?"

"I'll need to see it myself before I can make more than an assumption, but we are most likely dealing with some sort of summoning. The real questions are who is casting and what are they summoning. Can you tell me some of the words? I might be able to tell how much time we have before the spell is complete."

"Give me a sec," Jacob replied, listening hard to understand the Latin chanting. "Okay, I'm getting a little of it. Listen up: 'Tempero steages, cruento inimicus.' That help you?"

"Tempero strages is something about controlling a bloodbath and cruento inimicus means staining your enemies with blood. Oh God! I think I know what's going on! Gregory, where are you?!"

"I think I'm gettin' close. What's the rush?"

"No time to explain, just get in there. Both of you! You need to stop that ritual as fast as possible, though it might already be too late."

Jacob had known Lucy long enough the he knew she knew what she was talking about. There was no reason to believe that she was wrong this time. "I'm going in. Get here ASAP!" Jacob pulled his weapon, put his shoulder to the door, and slammed it open, bursting into the room to use the element of surprise. The key to using surprise to your advantage is not getting surprised yourself, in teh process. That just ruins the whole thing. There are very few people who can break down a door, realize they are standing in a room filled with gargoyle shells and one of only ten people capable of of reviving them, and not be surprised. To tell teh truth, Jacob wasn't one of them. The sight left him completely speechless for about two seconds, just long enough for the person in the Solomonic circle to take precautions. When Jacob regained his senses, the mage had already created a magic barrier surrounding the Solomonic circle. He then continued his incantation, completely ignoring Jacob.

"Lucy! I've got a class four barrier. I need you here NOW! Gregory, get in here as well. I'm going to need some your strength to finish this." He got two quick affirmatives and not a second later, gregory blasted another door off it's hinges.

"Wha's going on Jacob?"

"No time! The statues! Destroy the statues." Perhaps it was the panic in Jacob's voice that made the usually stubborn man obey, but Jacob would take what he could get. Without arguement or complaint, Gregory did as he was told. Wordlessly, he threw his coat aside, standing naked from the waist up and showing off an impressive collection of tribal tattoos. Taking a deep breath, he let out a low growl as the tattoos came alive, moving freely across his body. They moved together to look like claws on his hands. The tattoos became solid, changing Gregory's hands into long black claws, his eyes turned red, and all his body showed signs of the power suffusing him. Roaring, the big man stormed toward the statues, his new clawsripping them apart as if made of paper.

Lucy finally arrived, sprinting through a small side door. Stopping in hertracks, she saw the room for the first time. "What is this place?"

"No time, Lucy! Break down the barrier and disrupt the spell!"

"But..."

"Now Lucy! We'll all die if you don't!"

"I... I'm on it!" Lucy placed her hands upon the barrier, mumbling in German and then the phrase 'speed of sound'. Jacob turned to the summoning triangle, knowing that there was no way to save the vampires. They were already part of the spell. If Lucy couldn't stop it then Jacob would, at least, try to contain the creature that was being summoned. He had never been a great caster, but he had to try to create a barrier. Jacob quickly drew a circle around the summoning triangle with a small piece of chalk that had been discarded nearby. IT took precious time, but he knew he wouldn't be able to create a barrier verbally without a circle to bind it to. It only took 20 seconds to draw the circle and set up his barrier spell, but he barely completed it in time. A red mist began forming inside the triangle, growing in size and density until it filled the area encompassed by the barrier.

"Lucy! Stop him. NOW!" Jacob felt his mind slip and the barrier weaken. There was no way he could keep it up for much longer.

Lucy muttered the last of her incantation and the barrier surrounding the mage imploded, but not before he gave voice to the last phrase of his summoning: "Tribuo ego vis vires!"

The vampires let out a visceral scream as their blood vaporized and was consumed by the mage. "I bid you all adieu," he said, disappearing in a red cloud as Lucy launched an attack.

"He's gone, Jacob. What now?"

"Destroy the statues," he whispered as he trembled, struggling to keep the barrier up as long as possible.

"We meet again, Son of Rasputin." The voice came from the vapor within the shield and confirmed Jacob's worst fears.

"So, it is you, Cruentus. I thought I had seen the last of you when I banished you from this realm." Jacob heard Gregory smash another statue to pieces and since Lucy had joined him, there could only be a few left. He just needed to hold him a bit longer.

"I see you master the art of the barrier now. Impressive, but I fear your shield was hasty and sadly it is flawed.." The mist concentrated into a small, dense orb and, with tremendous energy, smashed through the barrier at it's weakest point. Jacob was thrown onto his back by massive realease of energy. He could do nothing but watch as the mist converged on the five remaining statues. Gregory and Lucy retreated as the vapor divided into five orbs, one gently descending onto each statue.

"Jacob?" Lucy asked, slowly backing away from the gargoyles as they began to move on their own, claws slashing through the air. "How deep in the shit are we now?"

"Neck deep, Lucy," he said as he got to his feet, gasping for air. "Neck deep."
Last edited by Jacobus on Mon Sep 15, 2008 5:30 pm, edited 3 times in total.
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Postby Charles on Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:51 pm

Eryx: take note of this fine example of waffling ;)

TITLE: 'Hunt'
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Postby Jacobus on Wed Sep 10, 2008 5:53 pm

Charles wrote:Eryx: take note of this fine example of waffling ;)

TITLE: 'Hunt'


Where's my ice cream?
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Postby Greven on Thu Sep 11, 2008 4:52 am

Oh hallo there people. I would happen to be the writer of this story.
Jacobus told me about the comic so I went to check it out, I'm not done with it yet, I have read about 140 pages these last few hours and it is awesome!
So I decided to join the forum. yay!

I hope you like the story, I am currently figuring out how the next eppisode if you will is going to play out. Jacobus might give me a storyboard but I put a personal tuch on it anyway :P
I am really looking forward to letting Gregory go mentos in the next eppisode. It will be awesome.
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Postby Greven on Thu Sep 11, 2008 5:11 am

Charles wrote:Eryx: take note of this fine example of waffling ;)

TITLE: 'Hunt'


What is waffling? Am I doing something wrong or what?
I am not a native speaker so I may fuck something up unintentually.
Please do leave feedback BTW.
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Postby A on Thu Sep 11, 2008 7:24 am

1) I wish I could help you with the title, but honestly, that's the one thing that always kills me when I write works of my own. I'm absolutely useless at title-thinking. Perhaps you could call it 'Jacob's Happy Fun Adventures in the Kingdom of Marshmallows'. It's ironic, you see.

2) The major suggestion I have to make is that you should find someone to proofread for you. There are grammar and spelling mistakes scattered throughout the work. Now, it's totally understandable considering English isn't your first language... I know that if I tried to write something in Spanish, it would be basically unreadable. And obviously, this is a fan work, so errors are going to happen; it's not like you can just go have a professional editor comb the whole thing. But maybe a friend could check it over for you, because currently the errors are common enough that they detract from the story being told.

3) Jacob is immortal? It's kind of hard to make danger believable with an unkillable main character, but that doesn't mean it can't be done (Particularly since we don't know the limits of his regenerative abilities. Maybe he can be killed in some way. I don't know). This is only the second chapter, so I'm going to mostly reserve judgement on the plot until there's more of a plot to judge; but I will say that it takes effort to make sure a character like this doesn't turn into a Gary Stu. And nobody likes that.
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Postby Inara on Thu Sep 11, 2008 7:53 am

Love the story. I would love to take the time to help you edit and revise it, if you'd like. I can't promise I'd be quick about it (I'm fairly busy right now), but I would be willing to help. If you'd like that, send the story to me in .rtf format at teacher(dot)inara(at)yahoo(dot)com :)

And Greven, waffling is a term used here to mean "refusing to choose sides". A waffle, however, is a delicious pancake-like breakfast food, that can also be used as an ice cream cone. :)

And no, you're not doing anything wrong. The waffling comment has been carried over from another forum topic, I believe as a joke.

BTW, welcome!!! :)
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Postby Hera on Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:02 am

Jacobus has edits by now. Don't know if he's going to post them here, but he got them last night.

It wasn't horrible, Greven. I can just be a grammar nazi sometimes. I edit another webnovel, so I tossed an edited version out last night. Like Inara said, welcome. :)
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Postby Greven on Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:22 am

A
1) Well I actually thought that Jacobus was gonna make a title it is his characters so I believe it is his mistake.
2) The problem is that I am the best English writer I know and that is no exaggeration. Also I did not proof read it at all, I finished it at 2 am and since I had school the next day I thought I could benefit from some sleep. I sent it along anyway so the Jacobus could read it, thinking that he would be a better proof reader than I could ever be, and due to the time difference I would be able to get it to him while it was still early evening at his place. Also English grammar is like kryptonite to me, it burns!
3) I did not invent Jacob and so I cannot say why he was chosen to be immortal but don’t worry he can be killed, oh and he will be killed if I get my way with this stuff. So don’t get ya knickers in a twist just yet. (I love that saying. I got no clue what it means, it’s just BAD ASS)

Inara
I do know what a waffle is, I just never heard the term on the web before so I got slightly confused, I mean what the hell does a waffle got to do with vampires? Interesting (not really) fact: In Denmark we don’t eat waffles for breakfast instead we eat them as a sort of Family evening thing, where the whole family gets together and watch a movie while eating waffles and candy and what’s not. (“Det er hygge!” Danish saying with no real translation so I won’t even bother.)
Thanks for the offer but read on.

Hera
Sounds good, and a grammar nazi is like the opposite of me, so that’s cool.
Thanks for the edit.
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Postby Hera on Thu Sep 11, 2008 8:44 am

Glad to be of help. :) Make sure you send him a copy in case it impacts the next chapter, Jacobus!!

Oh and feel free to blame Jacobus for whatever you want. He's a big boy. He can handle it. Besides, someone has to be wrong. It might as well be him. ;) As for your "knicker's in a twist" phrase the more modern turn is "Don't get your panties in a bunch." Either way, it's just a colorful way to say "Relax, don't worry about it too much." It is one of the more fun slangs out there. :)
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Postby Charles on Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:12 am

Another bloke in another forum commented that he was waffling on (saying a lot).

I commented that he wasn't waffling, then the very next post I looked at was the huge one of your story by Jacobus, so I told him to take example of how waffling is done *lol*

Man, just thinking back on my own stories for the writing competition and there's so many changes I've come up with in my head since the submission date. Most notably the Idea to merge the first 4 pages of my story with Jacobus into two pages and spread the last 4 over 6 (the first four waffled on a bit but the last 4 had an awsome fight scene that could have used some more space to display). *meh* live and learn.
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Postby A on Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:24 am

Like I said, I'm not getting my knickers in a twist over the plot until there's a bit more plot for me to get my knickers in a twist about. Only time will tell how twisted the knickers become. :)

'Twisted Knickers' would be a good name for a rock band.
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Postby Greven on Thu Sep 11, 2008 9:59 am

Hera wrote: As for your "knicker's in a twist" phrase the more modern turn is "Don't get your panties in a bunch." Either way, it's just a colorful way to say "Relax, don't worry about it too much." It is one of the more fun slangs out there. :)


I am gonna stay with the knickers in a twist, it just got a ring to it.

Man, just thinking back on my own stories for the writing competition and there's so many changes I've come up with in my head since the submission date. Most notably the Idea to merge the first 4 pages of my story with Jacobus into two pages and spread the last 4 over 6 (the first four waffled on a bit but the last 4 had an awsome fight scene that could have used some more space to display). *meh* live and learn.


Too many Idea are a curse I have run many a story into the ground because I just saw the move X where they did Y and wouldnt it be awesome if Z did Y against W while H was locked in combat with T who was actually the Zs brother but they didnt know because Q had sepperated them so they ended up at D and K.

Like I said, I'm not getting my knickers in a twist over the plot until there's a bit more plot for me to get my knickers in a twist about. Only time will tell how twisted the knickers become. Smile

'Twisted Knickers' would be a good name for a rock band.


Well I know as little as you of what is going to happen. All Jacobus does is supply a setting then I figure out all the details. Story vise I know what will happen in the next eppisode that is it.

And Twisted Knickers\ would be and AWESOME name for a rockband
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Postby Charles on Thu Sep 11, 2008 10:03 am

A wrote:'Twisted Knickers' would be a good name for a rock band.

I like "Oblivion Folder" but that just 'cos of one of the comics linked in my Signature ;)
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Postby Greven on Sat Sep 13, 2008 1:43 pm

So Part 3 is done and I have sent it the way of Jacobus for him to look through, approve, currect and post. But he is taking his time with it
BTW. Realize now that writing on 2 stories at the same time is a lot of work. I am curretly writing some Fan fic for another site and I kept mixing up names, places and whats not. Now dont get me wrong i didnt write one sentence in one story and then switched to write the other. I simple write a new chapter in this story, when that was done I changed and wrote the fanfic. It is hard as hell with my low brain function :P
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