Shadowgirls

A new game thread! Some inspiration taken from a similar game thread in another forum and some taken from good old "Pinky and the Brain"

Tell us your glorious plans to destroy, corrupt, conquer or rule the Earth.

Example: Increase the production of beans as the primary crop food and cows as the primary livestock. Advertise these as the primary foods and when you have enough cows and enough beans hold a wold wide beans day. Wait 24 hours after the event and then light a match as the increased methane levels from cow populations and bean digestions creates an immense blanket of fire across the Earth that will consume all

MWAAHAHAHAHAHA!

Two words.

Trained Badgers.

Hmm... Oh this is easy, design a mind-control machine that will enable me to control all the rats.. er lawyers in the world. With them under my power, I shall bring down the world's law and order ushering in a new dark age where chaos and anarchy rules supreme.

And now to practice my evil laugh.

MUHAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

Your evil laugh needs practice. I suggest throwing a W in there, otherwise it sounds more like a MOO-HA rather than a M-WAH-HA

And I think Microsoft might have beaten you to the punch on controlling all lawyers.

PLAN: I shall find the heart of the Shadowchild that Mother Hydra dropped and unravel the tapestry! Cthulhu shall rain riches upon me 'cos he'd be thankful... wouldn't he?

MWAHAHAHAHA!!!!

Touche. In that case, plan B.

Become an evil genius mastermind and orchestrate a series of the biggest heists in the world and use the riches to fund construction of the world's first orbital city. But in reality, that same orbital city is a giant rail gun that will bombard Earth with asteroids the size of cars until all bow to my superiority!

Let's see.. add a "W" huh?

MUWAAAA-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Better?

Still sounds like "Moo." Maybe put it before the U?

And you're all amateurs! I can rule the world with a chicken, an alternator from an '89 chevy (any model will do), and sufficient duct tape!

Duct tape's an exception. We all know it's the shortest way to rule the world so your idea doesn't count Tink.

How's this?

MWUAH-HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Better no?

Anyway, if plan B doesn't push through, there's always Plan C: All I need is some string, a paperclip and some lindt from the world's biggest pocket.

Easy end to the world. I shall come up with a way to get Bush back in the white house. And so the path to destruction shall be layed.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAAAA!

world destruction needed? easy.. Put Maz in charge.

New plan to rule the world. I shall blame global warming on the Jews along with a whole bunch of other world problems that no-one wants to deal with and everyone will flock to my leadership rather than face their own involvement.

Heck, if it worked for Hitler, why reinvent the wheel?

MWAAAAHAHAHAAAAAHAHAHAAAAAA

Heck, it's so simple... all I'd have to do is threaten to fund Celine Dion's triumphant return. Every nation upon Earth (well, except those dang Canucks) shall tremble in fear!

If badgers wouldn't do it, I suppose I could do something a little more drastic and involved. Personally I still prefer a horde of badgers sweeping the earth mostly clean of human life.

First I would disable all of the firewalls in China. Since China's communist leaders are so terrified at the idea of free thought they will nuke their own country. North Korea will also nuke themselves to show "that they are a big bad nation" rather then a nutjob running his people into the grave. Then with the major source of cheap labor gone, the corporations will crumble when their profits drop 23% and demand a handout-I mean bailout. Obama will look down on them and whisper, "No". Everything then goes to hell in a handbasket as our corporate masters all kill each other and themselves. Then after the smoke has cleared from a few years of corporate war, the small business will rise again and things will be good.

Oh, we're supposed to destroy the earth? Well in that case, play on!

First, start off easy. Go to France and tell the entire country it's invited to a Jerry Lewis film festival. Instead, show them a Marathon of "24". While every crepe maker and Eiffel Tower enthusiast is shocked into comas, seize power. Repeat as necessary with other applicable countries.

Next, recruit Chuck Norris. None shall be foolish enough to oppose you then. If you can't get Norris, just SAY you did. People will be too scared to check.

Then give any remaining resistance a false window of hope. Say you're going into an open area with lots of hiding spots surrounding you, to cast a spell to unleash a horde of demons to further your stranglehold. While said resistance takes sniper shots at a scarecrow in ceremonial robes, open up a quantum singularity to suck the last of your enemies to their doom. But make sure to close the singularity afterwards, or you'll let the heat out.

Having worked with children for so long, I have found the easiest and most perfect way to take over the world.

First, build an army of about 5,000 5-year-olds. It may not sound like much, but trust me, it will be.

Second, train said army in the ways of cuteness, temper tantrums, and defensive and offensive wetting of their pants. Meanwhile, also train them in martial arts.

Third, feed your army two tons of candy and soda pop, and then march this army of 5-year-olds on Washington, DC. Demand that the government hand over all governmental power to you. If they do not, release the five-year-olds into the White House, the Capitol building, and wherever it is that Senators and Congressmen hide out when they're not working (which is most of the time).

5-year-olds will begin with cuteness, asking the government officials why, oh why, they won't grant the wishes of the children and instill their teacher (who else could do it?) as Supreme Ruler? About a third of adults will give in immediately.

5-year-olds engaging more stubborn adults will then throw massive temper tantrums until they get their way. The second third of adults will give in to their whining, just to get them to shut up.

For the most stubborn of the adults, children will crawl up into their laps and pee on them. The adults will jump up screaming. While they are distracted, the children will use jujitsu to incapacitate them.

We then send the two-thirds of adults under our control to Congress, where they will pass a Constitutional amendment (hooray for the 2/3 rules!) granting me sole power over the government. Once the papers have been signed and the old government has been kicked out, I will assume power in the White House while the five-year-olds nap off their sugar buzz on the White House lawn.

From there, it should be relatively easy to convince most of the world to surrender power to me, or face the doom of the 5-year-olds.

It will be a glorious day.

Quite a plan there Inara.

Hmm.. how about I take a page from Hellsing and create a vast army of mind-controlled neo-nazi vampires. Of course, I would not deal with their ideals but I will be using them to massacre every last human on Earth except for maybe a few super models. After that, I'll just press the detonate button and the little bombs in their heads will explode effectively killing them and leaving me with a bunch of super models to repopulate the Earth. I will be the new adam with several Eves! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

On a side note, if Plan D doesn't push through, I still have another one to take it's place. Namely mass distribution of mutant ebola. MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAH!